I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
