Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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