I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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