I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
