goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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