It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
