We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize