Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.