I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize