my room smells like sperm. sweet.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
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so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
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I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.