Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.

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  (704): Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends (704): Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/v731
  Replies (46) Good night (3655) Bad night (493)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow. You named your rash.

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  (703): the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch. (717): Wow. You named your rash. http://tfl.nu/cxl6
  Replies (22) Good night (825) Bad night (3962)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.

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  (330): Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you. http://tfl.nu/fmxs
  Replies (38) Good night (7870) Bad night (1484)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.

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  (405): he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever. http://tfl.nu/wct5
  Replies (15) Good night (1281) Bad night (5723)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.

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  (+44): We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in. http://tfl.nu/xqye
  Replies (8) Good night (3825) Bad night (1027)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.

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  (206): I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house. http://tfl.nu/11j4
  Replies (3) Good night (646) Bad night (1737)
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  (626): View more from California

  So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.

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  (626): So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential. http://tfl.nu/3n2i
  Replies (5) Good night (2708) Bad night (605)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.

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  (337): By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day. http://tfl.nu/1a9r
  Replies (7) Good night (974) Bad night (820)
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  (805): View more from California

  What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.

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  (805): What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc. http://tfl.nu/01sm
  Replies (29) Good night (3447) Bad night (604)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."

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  (325): We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget." http://tfl.nu/mx4s
  Replies (4) Good night (1899) Bad night (514)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.

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  (267): No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool. http://tfl.nu/pfhs
  Replies (20) Good night (734) Bad night (1987)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.

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  (360): you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like. http://tfl.nu/0urz
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?

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  (613): Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates? http://tfl.nu/iv63
  Replies (3) Good night (563) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.

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  (951): It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set. http://tfl.nu/pz4i
  Replies (2) Good night (301) Bad night (288)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.

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  (503): He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment. http://tfl.nu/auln
  Replies (0) Good night (217) Bad night (69)

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