all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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