I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
