why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize