This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize