She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
