it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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