So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You may now shotgun with the bride
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
