after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize