ugly people sure do ruin things
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
