Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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