dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
