i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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