But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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