He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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