I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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