When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
