hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
