; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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