we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
