Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
