you would pick up someone in the library
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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