you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize