hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Actions speak louder than pants.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
