I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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