If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
