Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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