I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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