I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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