Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
