he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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