Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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