so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
