you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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