So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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