omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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