ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
