I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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