I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
