I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
