People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
