Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
