names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
