Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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