Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
