I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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