i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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