We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize