I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
