do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
