I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
